It was as I was washing mugs* in the archive kitchen that I learned that our arson team has concluded its mission and earned us the official title of the largest archive of our kind in the world, after years of being relegated to representing the Western hemisphere alone. It is with your tireless support that we were able to do so, and in return we have gained a wealth of documents from Europe, Asia, and Africa (due to historical reasons, our archives already included items from Oceania). We are still hard at work preparing our archive for the publication of documents of your interest.
I would again like to thank you for your support, whether moral, financial, or metaphysical. While we have not yet achieved our ultimate goals, this marks a great stride in the collection and preservation of esoteric documents.
My sincerest gratitude,
*Note to interns: All mugs should be washed promptly and placed on the peg racks from which they were retrieved. Please note that the archive does not stock glasses, and anything not on the peg racks can be assumed to be an escaped artifact and should be returned to an appropriate holding area. If you are unsure as to where this may be, alert a superior. Do not drink out of the artifact. Do not wash the artifact. We do not want another incident.
Also, the mug shaped like a calico cat is Ropa’s personal mug, so please refrain from using it, as someone recently left a considerable chip in its tail. Her grandchild made this mug for her, and she is quite saddened by the damage. If you were the one to do so, please step forward to apologize.