Archive of the Odd

Welcome to our newest web feature, Found Fiction Friday! With authors’ permission, we’ll be posting stories from our issues online. Formatting is still unique to the books, but the story is free for all to read.

Today’s story is by Kiya Nicoll. Kiya Nicoll’s primary research interests include recovering evidence of incidents that
appear to be related to transformation. They reside in an oak grove in New England with a small assortment of cats, reptiles, and children, and their other research reports can be found in a variety of journals linked from their website at kiyanicoll.com.

It originally appeared in Issue 2.

Warnings: Animal attacks, animal endangerment

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May 11

[Continued from page 3]

Shucker wishes to be clear that any people who encounter a bear on a garbage can raid should not approach the animal. “Use your brains, for God’s sake,” the police chief said. “Don’t tangle with them, leave them alone until they go home. Lock your trash cans up, and whatever you do, don’t feed wild animals!”

Classifieds and Advertising

Missed Connection at the Heartwell Grille

You: sitting at the bar last Friday night. Tall, shy, light brown elegantly rumpled hair, I haven’t seen you around before. Still masking up but you have cute hazel eyes and a sweet growly voice.

Me: two barstools down with the onion rings, you heard me talking up the sauce and I foolishly let you dip one of your fries in mine without getting your number out of you first. Also me: hoping you aren’t scared of women who say hey, if you want to go for drinks, I’ll buy the first piña colada.

If this is you, drop me a message via the Gazette offices on Tavern. (And before you worry about it, I saw the tooth thing when you had a drink, and I don’t care. You’re a cutie and I’d love to get to know you.)

May 18

Mrs. Wilson’s Hero Rooster

A terrible ruckus Monday night brought Maryann Wilson, 63, of Harvest Lane, out to her coop to find that a coyote had broken in to menace the chickens. The noise started a bit after ten, after Mrs. Wilson had already changed for bed, but of course a responsible homeowner will see to trouble with the hens even in a nightgown.

“It was bright enough, even with how cloudy it was, I could see something was coming for my hens, so I grabbed the varmint gun and went out in my slippers,” Wilson told the Gazette. “And sure enough there was something in there. Biggest damn coyote I’ve ever seen, and it’s got Jim attached to its face.”

Jim — a prize bantam rooster — was doing his duty as protector of the flock, and Mrs. Wilson was unable to bring her rifle to bear without risking harming the bird. “And of course I didn’t want to shoot him, he’s a damn good rooster, and good with the hens, now. Some roosters, they get mean with the hens, and that’s when it’s time to make soup, but not our Jim. So I had to come down and have a yell at the coyote, fired a shot into the ground even, and I guess that was the last straw, he turned and ran. I had to chase him to get Jim back, That boy didn’t want to stop fighting.”

After she retrieved her rooster, Mrs. Wilson inspected the damage. She claims the coyote somehow managed to rip up her fencing, and she is going to some effort to replace it with electric wiring. “Don’t know how he did it but I guess I gotta fix it,” she said.

Jim sustained moderate injuries to one wing and has a broken spur, but is expected to recover well, according to Miles Timkin, the lead doctor at Heartwell Veterinary Services.

May 25

Broadband for Heartwell?

When Alan Peale, 33, moved to Heartwell a few months ago he was hoping to find a haven away from the hurry and bustle of the city. A technology executive at Exeter Futures, he thought he could take advantage of new remote work options to live in a place where “an afternoon hike wasn’t a two-hour drive away,” as he told the Gazette.

Of course, once he moved into his place on Acorn Mill Road he learned what we’ve known for a long time; satellite internet is expensive and unreliable in the weather and using a cellphone hotspot can run through a whole lot of data pretty fast. Peale started asking around about what people thought of the information superhighway and what their access was like.

Janet Corcoran, the head of the Heartwell Library, told the Gazette, “Mr. Peale was very interested in our resources, and what we had available. When I told him about how our kids struggled with getting the access for remote schooling I swear he looked as melancholy as my aunt’s old Basset Hound.” The library has been struggling to get funds to upgrade its internet access for some time, but Heartwell is not a priority for state funding.

Peale has been working with Exeter to establish an organization that will promote broadband development for rural communities. “Places like Heartwell are going to be left behind otherwise. I know I’m new in town, but I want to show my care for this community and its people, and this is a place where I can throw my weight to make things better.” He hopes that the company will prioritize Heartwell in its efforts because of his personal connection, but also he wants to see other small towns get improved access to internet technology.

Tom Governs of Davis Road is one of the people who is skeptical of Peale’s influence. “Sure, he’s talking with people, getting their thoughts, making sure he’s respectful of the town leadership and all, but he’s still coming in from outside and changing things up on us. And who knows, if he makes this place the sort of place more city people’d like to live, we might get them in here buying up our houses and taking over, and then where will we be?”

The editor of the Gazette looks forward to your letters regarding the internet situation.

June 1

Bigfoot Sighted On Oak Ridge Drive

Evan Robbins is a quiet man with quiet hobbies. Every so often he takes his Saturday to review the footage from his motion-activated cameras, just to see what sorts of interesting wildlife have been running through his yard. Robbins, who is 54 and lives on Oak Ridge Drive, says that usually the images are deer, bands of raccoons, the occasional coyote, and other ordinary things.

This past weekend was a quiet one without the grandkids, so he settled in with a beer and his recordings to see what new wonders of the night might be revealed. This time, though, he saw something special.

“It’s only a couple of shots,” Robbins told the Gazette as he shared stills that he printed out from the footage. “He was back in the woods, not going into my yard at all, but look, you can see the eye flare here from my deck lights. That’s too high off the ground to be a normal critter, now, he’s maybe seven feet up there.”

When asked if the eyes might be a raccoon or possum in a tree, Robbins insisted that it was not possible. “Now here we’ve got a shot that doesn’t have the eyes, but look at that. That’s a man, or man-sized. Hairy as anything. He’s turned away from the camera, heading up towards Acorn Mill, but look at him.”

Robbins informed the Gazette that he has shared the photographs with the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization, a group claiming to study and verify information about such sightings. He expressed disappointment that he did not review the footage earlier, as he would be unlikely to find footprints over two weeks after the visitation.

June 8

Dog Show Chaos Prevents Awarding a Winner

The Heartwell Dog Show is one of our favorite early summer traditions here at the Gazette, and we love to see the turnout of everything from hardworking farm dogs down to coddled puppies subjected to excessive ribboning by their preschool-aged owners. We look forward to the first weekend in June all spring, and this year was no exception, with a whopping ninety-three entries to anticipate.

It was a beautiful day for a dog show, sunny and not too hot. The animals were all lined up to be rated on their obedience, their willingness and ability to face challenges on a basic agility course, and, for the kids, their cuteness.

Everything was going just swimmingly until a ruckus started up among the larger dogs. Ace Honeywell, who was one of the judges in the competition, told the Gazette, “It all started with Viking, that big Irish Dane. Now normally he’s a creampuff of a dog, but he got a whiff of something and he got big mad, and sure enough it starts spreading to all the other pups. Barking their heads off, pulling on their leashes.”

Viking and several other larger dogs managed to escape their owners and charged into the crowd of spectators, eventually chasing Alan Peale, 33, of Acorn Mill Road until he managed to climb up on top of a car and the dogs were brought back under control.

Peale has no idea why the dogs were so upset by him, though he admits that he is afraid of large dogs after having been bitten by one. “Maybe me running away was what got them chasing me, I don’t know.” He regrets that he could not enjoy the show as a spectator, but says that maybe he’ll keep away next year.

Because of the discipline failure involved in the incident, the judges could not come to a decision about prizes in anything other than “cuteness”, which was won by a mixed spaniel, Rosie, owned by eight-year-old Lizzie Dice.

June 15

Dangerous Animal Alert

Dinah Evans, 31, of Millpond Lane, is in stable condition after being attacked by an animal while out for an evening walk last night. She has received a post-exposure prophylaxis dose of rabies vaccine, and is expected to recover fully aside from some scarring.

Evans is in the habit of taking a regular constitutional, and has never had difficulties before. She particularly enjoys clear full moon nights like this one, and told the Gazette, “I just like listening to the crickets and not having to worry about whether I’m going to trip over something, you know?”

She admitted that her memory of the attack is somewhat muddled. “I was down by the pond, you know? Thinking how romantic it was—I’m sorry, I just met a sweet guy, actually, the Gazette helped!—the moon shining on the water as it came up over the trees, so I wasn’t exactly paying as much attention as I might. It’s safe, right, this is Heartwell. I’m thinking of going for a nice moonlit walk with someone, you know, and suddenly it jumps at me.”

“It,” in this case, was some sort of large, furry creature. “Bigger than a coyote,” Evans says. “I might’ve said wolf but I know there aren’t wolves around here anymore. It jumped at me, knocked me over, I screamed, it bit me on the arm, and then it ran off.” She laughed anxiously. “I don’t know whether I should be offended. Do I taste bad or something?”

Evans was treated for the bite injury and a mild concussion from the fall. She says she expects to be leaving medical care after she has received her second dose of the vaccine. “I’ll have to come back to get the last two shots, but they say there’s no reason to keep me that long.” Her disposition remains blithe and unconcerned, and in fact the thing that gives her the most distress about the entire incident is the loss of one earring from a set that belonged to her grandmother.

Anyone with information that might lead to the location or capture of the dangerous animal responsible for the attack on Ms. Evans is encouraged to call the Heartwell Police Department. If anyone locates Ms. Evans’s missing earring – a sterling teardrop with a hanging pearl on a marquise hook – please bring it to the Gazette offices on Tavern Street so that we can return it to her.

June 22

Breaking Ground on Internet Infrastructure

After a lively public debate, partially hosted in the letters to the editor section of the Gazette, the town has decided to accept the assistance of the Roads To Tomorrow Foundation in bringing broadband internet into downtown. With the help of the Foundation, the Heartwell Library, Heartwell High School, and Town Hall will be the first to be upgraded to modern technological structure, with work starting at the end of the summer.

“We’re thrilled,” Principal Jill Adams told the Gazette. “We all know that not all of our kids are going to stay in Heartwell, but they’ve been at a terrible disadvantage in doing their research and preparing for college without access to the resources that the web can provide them. We look forward to being able to help our kids excel in the modern world.”

Janet Corcoran at the library is in complete agreement. “This will make it so much easier for us to provide services to the town, to facilitate interlibrary loans now that we can connect to other libraries in the region, we’ll be able to help people with research that needs high-quality images, and also help you figure out how to fill in that obnoxious paperwork. Kids who don’t have internet at home will be able to come in and do their work in all kinds of weather. We’re so grateful to Alan for making this happen.”

Alan is Alan Peale, the newcomer to town who spearheaded the effort to bring the Foundation to Heartwell. “I know a lot of people are nervous about what this might do to change the character of the town. God knows I moved out here for some peace and being able to go for a walk in the woods whenever I wanted! The city was driving me nuts. So I’m hoping that this will turn out to be good, on balance.”

Peale is very earnest about not wanting to change the character of our town, but of course, only time will tell.

June 29

A Surprising Love Story

When Dinah Evans of Millpond Lane went back in to get her third rabies shot after being attacked by a large animal, she was surprised to find a bouquet waiting for her at the front desk of the clinic. “It’s the sweetest thing ever,” she told the Gazette. “You know when I talked to you last I said I’d met a sweet guy? He’s so sweet he left a bouquet here for me. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go—I was in the hospital for our next date, and that’s kind of awkward—but no, it’s great.”

Her beau—Alan Peale of Acorn Mill Road—told the Gazette that he felt a bit awkward about the flowers but, since he too has been through what he called “that scary time after an animal attack”, he wanted to show his support. Peale, who is a newcomer to Heartwell, is a lanky six-footer, and still scrupulous about masking up in public. “I just wanted to let Dinah know I was there for her.”

The two met after Evans placed a “Missed Connection” advertisement in the Gazette a bit more than a month ago, and had been seeing each other casually until the attack interrupted their schedule. Now that they are reunited, the sparks are definitely flying. “He has this amazing animal magnetism,” Evans says with a laugh.

Our reporter asked, “But have you seen him without the mask?” and Evans was willing to confide that Peale is a little shy about his appearance, as much as he has pandemic concerns, but that she doesn’t care about the state of his beard.

“No, give us a week or two, for me to finish my shots and make sure I’m healed up, and we will absolutely be painting the town red.”